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[Letter from Young John Allen to Mollie Houston, March 22, 1857]

Oxford Geo.March 22/57
Dear Father & Mother;

On the above date I commenced to write this letter but thinking I a [sic] might be gone to Tenn. and from some other considerations I postponed it until now.

The object of this letter is to speak of a subject which has long borne heavily on my mind, and which I have often thought I ought to communicate; but to do it, I have always been wanting in courgae or have been “halting between two opinions.” This morning, cool and dispassionate as I ever was in my life, I am fully persuaded, as I have long been, that my heavenly master has called me to proclaim his gospel to a dying world. I have not until within a few weeks past, got

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my consent to obey this summon and even now I am sometimes vacilating [sic] . But this morning, confidently relying upon the promise of our Savior, when he said “lo, I am with you always even into the end of the world.”

I feel like obeying his call. I cannot enjoy religion unless I give my consent to perform this responsible work. I feel my own inadequacy and unfitness for the great work that lies before me. Our heavenly Father, by the influences of his holy Spirit can make the feeble strong. This is my only hope. Otherwise I could not engage in so important a work. I have chosen today to write because I am calm and dispassionate. My thoughts flow from the dictates of judgement and not from the impulses of excitement.

However much I may some-

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times be led off the almost irresistible influences of another description, my impressions have become of the nature of fixed principles. They are, however, sometimes powerfully attacked by the filthy lure of this world’s pleasures and distinctions.

I hope however in the end to be enabled to overcome every temptation which the great enemy of God and man is constantly throwing in my pathway.

I hope firmly to withstand every inducement which this world’s gawdy allurements can present or its fretful ambition offer. It is true this requires no ordinary supply of grace. My heavenly father is richly able and abundantly willing to grant the supply. If I but trust to him I shall be able to come off conqueror in the end.

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• Take heed lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief–Martin
• Blessed are they which do hunger & thirst &c Lovejoy
• 4th Esther–Martin
• 1st ch. Proverbs–Patillo
• I know in whom I have believed &c Lovejoy