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[Letter from Young John Allen to Mollie Houston, August 28, 1857]

Oxford Geo.
Aug 28th 1857

My Own Beloved Mollie,

I know you are beginning to expect a letter from me by this time, and I feel that I ought to write you a few lines any how though I have no time and or [added] opportunity for a full expression [unclear] of my heart.

I came [unclear] here, Dearest as you might expect; am pleasantly situated; have a fine and agreeable Chum, the same in spirit, in faith and in calling. Have begun College duties, have a very flattering prospect for a happy and pleasant term and as full a number of students as formerly.

I tell you my Dear Mollie, I
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[sic] very unfit for a Senior in College, and the responsibilities with which I am now invested. I almost shrink even from the performance of known antics sometimes, but yet I cannot with a peaceful conscience. I had not been here half a day-nor [unclear] before Saturday night, the day I got here, I had two calls from [deleted] with requests from friends to fill two appointments immediately; I had rather [unclear] to hesitate at first but then I consented to do all I could by the help of him who hath said "My grace shall be sufficient for you." But Oh! my Dear Mollie, how unworthy I do feel; how [unclear] , how
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insignificant and incapable of doing or saying the least thing or word which shall tender [unclear] to the glory of God in the Salvation of a single Soul. Oh! how deceitful, how rebellious is the heart of man; how guilty and wretched even his best estate, Oh! the terror and horror of such impulsiveness [unclear] and indiscretion as sometimes get hold of the heart of man. The Lord knows our hearts; Oh! may he reach and cleanse them, and purify and sanctify them from all past stains and guilts of sin.

God Bless Thee, My Own Mollie, I want us to live entirely for God, I want
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it to be our meat and our drink to do the will of our Lord daily, to walk humbly, discreetly and soberly before him; but Oh! how far short of such a life were we living during my vacation. Were we not rather conforming to the world, did we not become even worse, were we not too worldly minded, too "sensual, too devilish"? My Dearest, we did not live right. I know it. I feel it, let us then repent and confess our sins to him who hath said "he is faithful to forgive us our sins if we confess them." Let us begin a new life, to walk more closely with God. That we may always
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have the happy and healthfull influences of the vital [unclear] power of Godliness in our souls and in our lives. My dearest Prayer, prayer, prayer is what we need; we neglect it too much we did not pray as we used to, or we would not [added] have fallen into such temptations and indiscretions as we did. Let us then "awaken and arise from the dead" that we may enjoy the light which Christ promises us.

I would like to write much to you My Dear Love, you know. I would, but time forbids this evening.

I thought I would just
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write you a few lines now in order that you might hear from me on tomorrow morning, lest you might become anxious about me, for I know you do once and a while think of him who is yours only.

I wish you Dearest to write to Miss Sallie Hudson and learn from her whether or not she has received a copy of the "Guide to Holiness" for July & August, and please inform me. Don't forget it now Mollie.

My Mollie Dearest, I have now no more time, and must now close, with a request for an immediate response, tell me all the news, and the occurrences of the past week.

Did you go down to Uncle Carter's. Did Miss Tish come? how did you enjoy yourself and what did Matt. say?

Give my best-- to Miss Tish, I thought I should get to see her before I left, but she did'nt come,-- but it is well she did not, for had she I should not have reached here till Monday. So it is all for the best on my part.

My love to Mellie and all of them.--

More committedly & devotedly thine than ever

Young J. Allen P.S.

Please do'nt let any one see this letter for my sake.

Young J. Allen

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